WOTD: Audition

2038-01-19T03:14:07Z

Today's word of the day is: Audition, a process in which an eager applicant often makes a fool of him- or herself in public.

There's a new "American Idol" season starting that I caught a few minutes of this week. The first few episodes of a season are the only ones that interest me because of all the desperate characters who come crawling out of the woodwork when the production visits their city.

Some believe they can win a talent competition using questionable wardrobe decisions to distract the judges from their lack of singing ability. Others honestly believe they can sing but sound more like a rusty hinge than the next big pop star. Most entertaining are the ones who go off on the judges for being "wrong" or "jealous" of their obvious talent, all the while cursing and complaining as black-shirted security staffers pull them out of the audition room and dump them onto the street.

Once the competition moves to Las Vegas, where the second stage takes place and all contestants have some level of actual ability, the show no longer holds my attention. That's why I can't name more than two previous winners. Let's see... There was a Kelly Whatsername who won one of the early seasons and put out an album or two and also a big guy named Rupert, or Rubin, or something like that. See? I told you I could do it.

I've been thinking about my work on Project M as a type of audition as well, since I'm not under contract yet and might not actually get the job. I sent a revised first chapter and a brand new second chapter to the packager this morning. If they like it well enough, they will include my sample chapters in their series proposal to publishers--who will be free to say how much they'd love to print, market, and distribute millions of copies of these books if only some other author were writing them.

This makes it a two-stage audition where I have to win both parts of the competition or go home. Metaphorically. Since I'm already home. You know what I mean.

The prize would be a wicked cool writing gig on a project that's already singing to my brain. In order to write these two chapters I had to think ahead to chapters to come and set up plot and character arcs leading to a dramatic conclusion that right now only exists in my head. So if I don't get the contract, believe me, I'm taking my dramatic conclusion and cursing the Simon Cowells of the publishing industry to the cameras on my way out of the arena.

See you in Vegas, baby!

Random observation: Speaking of music, the radio stations around here suddenly increased the amount of 90's music they play, starting on or around January 1st. Did somebody officially decide that 2009 would be the year when we're all ready to hear Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Pearl Jam again?

Greg R. Fishbone

WOTD: Audition